Freedom to Prisoner to Freedom
by Lily Rosalia
Summary: Who shot Lindsay's brother? Lindsay or Danny? And will she tell people about Noa? Or will she keep their little secret? My take on Lindsay's past and later Love Run Cold. Take a look in Lindsay's family! Oh, and DL, of course.
1. Chapter 1

"Hi Mac, I'm glad you could come so fast." Danny said in true relief.

"Well, it's an important thing." Mac said looking over at Lindsay, who was sitting on the curb with her head in her hands staring into the air.

Short recap of what happened before:

_Lindsay and Danny were on their way to a crime scene when they heard the sirens coming from behind them. Danny immediately turned on the police scanner. They heard there was a car being followed by a few police cars. Just when they heard the scanner the car passed them with high speed, followed by two police cars with their sirens on. They decided to join in and Danny raced after the police cars. After a short time the car stopped and the refugees got out of the car and started shooting. The police men did the same and Danny and Lindsay as well crouched behind their car's doors and started shooting. After a while the refugees started running, probably because they were out of bullets. A few police men started running after them and Danny and Lindsay were about to do the same as they heard a men shouting:_

_"Call paramedics! I have an officer down!"_

_They looked at each other and decided to go and check it out. As they got close enough to see the man lying on the ground Lindsay put a hand on her mouth._

_"O my god! Michael" She whispered as she ran towards the man. Danny ran after her not quite understanding what was happening. She fell on her knees to check his pulse, there wasn't any._

_She lowered her head as she ran the conclusion: he was dead._

"How is she?" Mac wanted to know from Danny.

"I don't know, she's still in shock, I guess." He said looking at her, Mac could tell he was really worried. But he wouldn't have expected any other reaction from him.

"So this Michael, he's her brother right?" Mac informed.

"Yes, he was. Worked as a New York police officer." Danny's voice was small.

"Okay, so we have to inform her other family. I'll take care of that. Oh, and everybody who was at the shooting is going to be questioned. Just a standard procedure. Stella, Flack, Hawkes and I are going to be on Michael's case, try and find out who shot him as soon as possible. You just take her back to the lab?" He asked nodding in Lindsay's direction.

"Will do Mac." Danny said.

He walked towards her, she didn't see him. He crouched down at her level and she looked at him. Her eyes were filled with tears. He took her hand and gently gestured her to stand.

"Mac's going to inform your family. We have to get back to the lab, some people are going ask us a few questions about the shooting. Mac and the others are on Michael's death." As she heard the last couple of words a tear fell out of her eye. Danny understood she couldn't say anything right now. He leaded her back to the car and drove of to the lab.

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"Miss Monroe, I'm very sorry for your loss." The woman in front of her said. Lindsay just nodded. She wasn't in the mood for talking. She just wanted to... well, she didn't really know what she wanted to do. Probably just go home and get some sleep. She diffinently didn't want to face her family, but she knew they would be in NewYork any time soon.

"Did you see anything suspicious Miss Monroe?" Unfortunately the woman in front of her _was_ in the mood to talk.

"No, I didn't. I didn't see anything. Danny and I were just following the cops and then all of a sudden there's this shooting and... and..." Her voice became very small, as it finally set through what happened. She felt trears filling her eyes, but she refused to cry.

"And then what?" The lady asked.

"And then Michael went down." Lindsay lowered her head and sighted. She didn't cry. She was amazed she didn't. Maybe this wasn't going to be as hard as she thought it would.

"Ok, thank you. That's all for now." The woman said. Lindsay got up from her chair and walked out of the room. Danny was waiting outside for his turn. As she walked by they locked eyes and Lindsay stood still for a moment. In silent she assured him she was alright.

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**That was the first chapter. I hope to get a few reviews. This is acctualy my first fanfic so I'm a little courious to know how you liked it. This story has been in my mind for a while now, so I thought I'd just write it down. Next chapter will involve some of Lindsay's familie. And a hint to her "bloody" secret. And by the way, this story is set before the Love Runs Cold episode. **

**Oh, and I just want to apoligize if my English is a little of, I'm from the Netherlands (yes, that's the little country) so my English isn't too good, but I'm still learning. I would like you to correct me if something is just way off. Thanks already.**

**Lily**


	2. Chapter 2

While Danny was being questioned in the interrogation room, Lindsay sat on the couch in the breakroom. She had a cup of coffee in her hand and stared into nowhere. She wanted to go home, but she was told to wait. The might want to question her again. She just hoped that Mac and the rest solved Michael's case soon, so it would all be over. But she had a feeling things were would get a lot worse first.

"Oh, there you are." Stella came into the breakroom followed by Mac. He had a very serious look on his face and Lindsay had a very bad feeling.

"How are you holding on?" Mac informed. 'Well, how do you think I'm holding up!' Lindsay thought.

"I'm fine Mac, thanks for asking." She said.

"That's nice to hear." Stella said, but she knew Lindsay was lying.

"So, what's wrong?" Right now Lindsay didn't really care about anything except for news on Michael's death. Stella looked at Mac. He sighed.

"We have recovered the bulled in autopsy." Why would that be bad news, Lindsay thought.

"But, the bulled came from a police gun." Mac looked at the ground. He hated to give this kind of news.

"And, because of his position, we found out, that the only way he could have been shot was from an 40 degree angle. And the only car positioned in that angle was your car." Mac finished.

"That's why you and Danny will be the only ones being questioned from now." Stella explained.

Lindsay was feeling a bit nauseous. This meant that either she or Danny shot her brother. She didn't know what would be the worst scenario. She would never forgive herself if she did it, but she didn't want Danny to feel bad either.

"I'm sorry about all of this." Mac said when he saw her face. Lindsay just nodded.

"Danny's still in interrogation. She should know, too." Lindsay almost whispered.

"We already took care of that." Stella said, putting her hand on Lindsay's shoulder.

After they told Lindsay she was going to be questioned after Danny she went to sit on the bench next to the interrogation room. After a while Danny came out and took a place next to her. Mac and Stella were sitting on the bench, as well. Since two of their co-workers were in trouble, they were going to be questioned, too. Lindsay was told to wait, because the questioners needed to discuss a few things.

After a while a red-headed man, who had Lindsay's brown eyes, came walking trough the hallway. When he saw Lindsay his face turned angry and he yelled:

"Lindsay!" Lindsay just looked up, as if being yelled at was the most common thing in her life.

"Lindsay, we need to talk!" The man grabbed her arm and yanked her out of her chair, towards the room across the the interrogation room.

"Eddie, what's wrong?" Lindsay asked with a cool, calm voice.

"Why are you sitting next to that man, that murderer?" Eddie asked while raising his voice.

"What are you talking about?" Lindsay was confused.

"That man is your brothers killer, and you're just sitting next to him!" He pointed at Danny.

Now Lindsay understood what he was talking about. Eddie must have heard about the Michael being shot by her or Danny.

"What? Danny isn't a murderer! He's a friend of mine!" Lindsay was getting a little mad about the fact that her oldest brother just stood there accusing one of her best friends around here.

"They said either you or he killed Michael!" He took a step closer to her, as to scare her. But she never backed away, not even a millimetre.

"It hasn't been proven yet." Lindsay said, now with her calm voice.

"But you would never shoot your brother so then that leaves us one other person, doesn't it?" He said sarcastic.

"You think Michael was shot on purpose?" Lindsay asked in disbelief. Eddie could be so naïve sometimes.

"Ed, it was a shooting! It's chaos, people can easily shoot someone par accident! I could have shot him, too!"

Danny, Mac and Stella were looking at the two siblings fighting through the glass wall. Stella well noticed how Lindsay was trying to protect Danny, maybe she was a little overprotecting.

"You shouldn't have lost him!" Now more people came down the hallway.

First there was a woman looking exactly like Lindsay, she was definitely older, though. She looked like she was looking for something. She was followed by three other people. Two men and an other woman.

"Why am I the one responsible for Eddie all of a sudden?" The youngest man argued.

"You always did that!"

"No I didn't!"

"Then who did?" Asked the woman. She was blond and had bright, blue eyes.

"Michael did." The man who was walking behind them answered quietly. He had blond hair as well and his eyes were sea-green.

Everybody stared at him, except for the oldest woman.

"Renee, Matt, stop arguing!" She said, not noticing that they had already stopped.

"I think I found him." She said pointing through the glass at Lindsay and Eddie.

"If you shot Michael I will never be able to forgive you! I just don't think I could live with that!" Eddie screamed.

"But Michael's death was an accident! Why can't you just listen to me!" Lindsay's voice was a little desperate.

"If you keep hanging around with that guy I don't want to see you any more!" Eddie said.

"But just listen to me, nothing has been proved yet!" Lindsay was at the point of crying.

"I either him or your family!"

"Oh, you're such a daddy's boy!" Lindsay screamed at him, but as soon as the words left her mouth she knew that it wasn't exactly her best idea. Eddie's hand turned into a fist and he hit her hard on her forehead.

"Ow, no! Not again!" The woman called Rennee said and she and her brothers and sister ran into the room. Matt grabbed Eddie and held him away from Lindsay.

"He would be so proud of you now!" Lindsay was obviously mad at him. Her hands were little fist. And she had a big gash on her forehead. The other man held her so she couldn't take revenge at her brother. Rennee and the other woman stood next to them.

"Why don't you go home Eddie." Matt said pushing him to the door.

"And if you ever hit her again I will kill you, you understand?" He said. Eddie just nodded and stormed out the room.

Now everyone's attention came down on Lindsay. They were al glaring at her.

"Now what was that good for?" Matt asked, with an angry voice.

"I was just trying to stop him, he just wouldn't listen." Lindsay defended herself.

"Well that was nicely handled!" She oldest woman said. She turned around to follow her brother.

"Jacky wait!" Lindsay yelled after her, but it was already to late. Everyone just looked at her more angry.

"But I didn't mean it! I only wanted him to listen!" Lindsay knew they would stay mad at her whatever she said, but she just kept on trying. Matt just shook his head.

"Matthew..."

"Stop it! That's enough Lindsay!You've done enough already!" He turned around and Renee let out a sigh in disapproofment before she followed.

Lindsay lowered her head. "So, you're mad at me too, right?" She whispered to the only one left.

He just stared at her, he never was the talking one. That was probably the reason Lindsay loved him so much.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't want to hurt anyone. Please Noa." Her voice was tired, and exhausted.

"Matt's right, you know. That's enough." He tuned around and left to follow the others. Lindsay just sat down at the desk in the room and rested her head on her arms. Through the glass Danny, Mac and Stella felt sorry for her, as they gave each other silent looks.

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**This was chapter 2 It was a little longer, I hope you liked it. I'll be happy to receive your reviews anytime. Next chapter will cantain more DL deffenently. Thanks for reading.**

**Lily**


	3. Chapter 3

After a while Lindsay was called back into the interrogation room. After the incident with her family she was at breaking point. She just wanted to go home, but the lady just kept on asking questions she didn't knew the answers on. When finally she was dismissed from questioning she saw Danny still sitting outside the room on the bench. She took a seat next to him. She wanted to talk to him, he was the only one who knew what she was feeling. Or maybe not exactly, but at least allmost.

"Hey Danny I just wanted to..."

"We're suspects, ya know. We can't talk Lindsay." He said. But when he saw her face he said:

"Well, not right now. Call me if anything's wrong, Okay? Any time." He could tell she was hurt, just by looking at her eyes. And she could tell he was hurt, too. She noticed that he had called her Lindsay, not Montana, like he used to. Things were changing and she didn't like it at all. He looked at her in concern., but she looked away. She stood up and walked away. She wasn't angry, she was just so sad. Her family was mad at her, just when she needed them. And the only person she wanted to talk to couldn't talk to her.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she bumped into Stella.

"Hey Lindsay!" She greeted her cheerfully. But when she saw the tears in her eyes she was worried.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked. Lindsay knew she couldn't hold back her tears now. And she was right, a tear rolled over her cheek.

"Oh honey, it's all right Linds." Stella said while she pulled Lindsay into a hug.

"You want me to drive you home?" She asked after a while. Lindsay shook her head.

She really wanted to be alone now. She hated people to she her crying. Stella understood and let go of her. Lindsay quickly walked away, before more tears fell.

Stella looked at Danny, who had been watching the whole incident. He looked concerned and caring. Stella gave him a look that said everything was going to be okay and Danny understood.

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That evening Lindsay sat at home, at her desk. She had sat there since she had gotten home almost three hours ago. She felt a little bit better after she had taken a shower and had drunken tea, but she was going downwards with the minute. It was almost eleven p.m. and she decided to go to bed. She was exhausted. Not only from the long day, but mostly from fighting her feelings. She was even to tired to take her clothes of. She just lay in bed, knowing she wasn't going to sleep anyway. And she was right...:

"No daddy! Leave him alone!" She grabbed his arm and he hit her across the face. She smacked into the wall.

"Lindsay go to your room!" Noa screamed at her, while he was being hit by his father.

"No!" Lindsay screamed and she was about to jump on her father, making him stop. Not that it was going to work. She was only seven years old and Noa was fourteen. If he couldn't stop their dad, there was no way she could. But she had to help. She took a step forward but someone grabbed her and picked her up.

"No! Let me go!" She screamed moving her arms and legs so her capturer would let go, but he wouldn't.

"Come in Lindsay. It's better if you stay in your room." Michael yelled while he was walking up the stairs with Lindsay in his arms. She was strong, but not as strong as he was, because he was seventeen.

"Michael let me go! Why can't I help?" She didn't understand.

"Because you're yo young!" Michael stood still to talk to her.

"Just get her out of here!" Jacky yelled. And right after she had said it her father hit her on her eye.

"I said you all had to shut up!" Her father screamed, before he hit around him again. He hit Matt, who was unconscious immediately. He was only eleven, so there wasn't much power needed to do so.

"Dad stop it!" A twelve year old Renee screamed.

"Shut up!" Their father yelled kicking Renee in she stomach, so she ended up lying next to Matthew.

Two were out, four to go. Eddie was gone to work. As the oldest one he had to work for the whole family, since their father didn't do it. He was nineteen, and the only one who was done with school. Jacky was only a jear younger that he was and she was going to work , too, when she finished school.

Everyone knew their father wouldn't stop until the house was nothing but silence. And then he would just start drinking again. Michael had finally put Lindsay in her room and had locked the door. He hated doing so, but he couldn't let him hurt her. She was screaming to let er out and smashing her fists on the door. She always did that, and the next day her hads would be sore and black and blue.

When he came down everything was silent and he saw all his brothers and sisters lying on the ground. They looked like they were sleeping, but he knew better.

"There you are! You try and help your sister, huh!" He stood eye in eye with his father. And before he knew a fist touched his skin.

"Ow! Dad cool down! Stop it! Aw!" He yelled as he was taking his punishment.

It was all Lindsay could hear from her room upstrairs. Sometimes she liked being the youngest out of seven children, but in times like this she hated it. She didn't want to hear his screames. She put her hands over her ears, but the screaming didn't fade away. It seemed to be even louder. She started crying, and she was shaking. She pulled her knees up to her chest. Making herself as small as possible. The yelling kept on, getting louder and louder.

"Ow Dad! Stop! Daddy please!" She could hear he was crying.

"Please stop it... please stop it..."

She sat up immediately. Cold sweat on her back, tears in her eyes.

"It's just a dream, just a dream." She tried to assure herself.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, just like she had done that night when she was seven. She was shaking. She had had this nightmare before, so many times. Every night actually, she thought. She couldn't even remember the last night she had slept without this nightmare.

She had calmed down a bit and let herself fall back on the bed. She was so tired. She closed her eyes, but as soon she did that she saw the image of an unconscious Michael with her father standing beside him, a beer bottle in his hand.

She sat right back up immediately. Sleeping wasn't going to work. But she was just so tired! She was getting a little desperate.

She got up from her bed and changed into a training pants and a sweater. She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Her eye fell on a picture of her family, all her brothers and sisters together. She looked at Michael, he seemed so happy. But she knew that that photo was taken after a night of yelling and crying.

And the screaming voices that had been in her nightmare came back into her head. She could hear Michael's screaming even when he was dead. She thought she was going crazy. She needed to talk to someone now! But she couldn't call any of her siblings.

Then she remembered Danny. "Any time." He had said to her. Would two A.M be any time, too? She didn'r really care.

With tears in her eyes she picked up the phone and dialled the number she already knew by heart.

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**So that was chapter 3. I hope you liked it. And thanks for the reviews, they really helped. I'm sorry I promised DL in this chapter, but next chapter there will definetely some. Well, thanks for reading and I'll update soon.**

**Lily**


	4. Chapter 4

"Lindsay? What's wrong?" Danny knew she wouldn't call him at two Am unless there was really something wrong.

"Um, I'm fine actually. Sorry I woke you up." She started to back away.

"Are you sure, Montana?" He called her Montana again! That was it, she couldn't hold back any more.

"I'm not really sure about anything right now..." Her voice faded away and she started crying.

"Hold on, I'll be with you in a minute." Danny said before hanging up.

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Danny hadn't lied about being there in a minute. He had rushed to her apartment as fast as he could. She opened the door for him. Her eyes were red and her hair messy. But he still thought she was beautiful. When she saw him she felt so relieved. The tears in her eyes came back immediately, but this time they were tears of joy. He pulled her into a quick hug and when he let go she led him to the living room and said he could sit on the couch.

"Can I get you something?" That was the first thing she said.

"Some coffee would be nice." He said rubbing his face. He was still a little sleepy.

"Yeah, me too." She said while walking into the kitchen.

After a while they both sat down on her couch drinking their coffees. There was a silence. But it wasn't a awkward one. No, this one was even comforting.

"So, you feel a little bit better now?" He asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, I think I just got a little scared." She said.

"Why is that?" He asked kindly.

"I um...I had a nightmare." She committed. She looked at her hands. She always thought nightmares were for scared little girls.

"You have them a lot?" He asked almost whispering. She nodded again and took a sip of her coffee.

"I just needed to talk to someone. And I couln'd call any family so I called you because you said I could call you and..." Her voice faded away again and new tears dripped on her cheeks.

"It's alright, Lindsay." Danny said. He noticed he always forgot to call her Montana when he was worried or sad for her.

"No it's not! I know I should feel sad about Michael, but I'm just so scared..." She tried to wipe away the tears, but there were just too many.

"And I just wanted to talk to you because you understand what I feel and I...I..." She could barely speak as the tears streamed over her cheek. She didn't even try to wipe them away.

"If I killed him... but if you killed him..." Now she really couldn't speak any more.

Danny had taken her hand a few tears before, and now he pulled her against his chest. She pulled her legs up onto the couch and cried while Danny held her. She calmed down fast. But Danny didn't let go of her. And she didn't want him to do so either.

He stroked her hair softly while he whispered comforting words. His voice was husky from holding back tears. He couldn't stand seeing her so broken.

She grabbed his hand, the one that was stroking her hair and whispered: "Michael used to do that all the time." Danny quickly pulled away his hand.

"Sorry, I didn't want to.." He started to say, but Lindsay grabbed his hand again and placed back it on her hair.

"No, I... it's alright." She said. Her voice was small and unsteady. Danny started stroking her hair again. It had always seemed to calm her. And it worked even better when Danny did it.

After a while Lindsay had fallen asleep. Danny just sat on the couch, with Lindsay in his arms. And he didn't dare to move. Even if had to sit like this the whole night, he wouldn't mind. He placed a little kiss on her head and laid his head on hers. And he, too, fell asleep.

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Lindsay woke up. First she was confused, but then she remembered last night. She moved her head and saw she was still in Danny's arms. She smiled, this was a nice way to wake up.

Danny woke up, too. He looked down at her and gave her a shy smile.

"I must have fallen asleep." Lindsay whispered. She couldn't handle loud noise in the morning.

"It's okay, me too." Danny followed her example by whispering, too. She love it when he knew exactly what she needed.

"It's seven Am" Lindsay stated.

"I think I'd better be going." Danny still whispered. He got up from the couch and turned around to grab her hands, helping her up, as well.

She didn't want him to go. This was the first time she hadn't had a nightmare, and that was quite something. But she knew he was right. She had to get ready for Michaels funeral, which was today at four. And they weren't even allowed to speak to each other, let alone spending the night at the other's place.

"Okay." She said quietly. He saw she didn't want him to go. And he didn't want to leave her either. But they could get in a lot of trouble if someone found out about this.

"You will be at the funeral right?" She asked.

"Of course I will... whatever happens right?"

"Yeah... whatever happens." She agreed. They looked at each other and their eyes said more than their words did.

"Oh, and Danny. Thank you." She said while looking at the ground. Danny lifted her head up and placed a kiss on her cheek. And he turned and left without saying anything, because they didn't need to say anything.

And he left Lindsay standing by the door, with her cheek burning and her a smile on her face.

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**I really loved writing this chapter. I hope you like it, too. It's not really long, but it didn't need to be any longer I guess. Thank you for all the positive reviews. Well, next chapter we'll find out who shot Michael. I'm exited to write more, but I really should do my homework now ;)**

**Lily**


	5. Chapter 5

When Danny came home he felt happy. Lindsay and he were finally going somewhere. He liked that he could help her through this. He liked that she had called _him_ when she needed to talk. He took a shower and ate something. He hadn't eaten since he came home the other night, but Lindsay just made him forget all of his feelings. Except for those he had for her.

He sat on the couch, watching TV. But he didn't really see anything. He was just thinking about everything that had changed. In only a day he had been in a shooting, been questioned, he had become a murder suspect and he had kissed Lindsay. Well, just on her cheek, but to him it really meant something. Things had really changed a lot! They were mostly bad changes, but that one good change made everything all right.

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Lindsay hadn't eaten much after her shower. She wasn't really hungry. Danny had left her feeling quite all right. But now she was alone and wasn't distracted any more by Danny, she could think about everything again. She put on her clothes for the funeral and sat on the couch waiting for nothing in particular. Then the phone call came...

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Danny was still 'watching TV' when his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID. It was Mac.

"Danny." He said with a bad feeling in his stomach.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Mac informed. He sounded serious. Danny sure didn't like that fact.

"All right I guess." He said.

"Um, the reason I'm calling is because we closed the case." He said. Danny's good mood turned into a bad mood immediately. He stayed silent so Mac just continued.

"Danny, I'm sorry to tell you this but..." Danny's stomach turned. He already knew what Mac was going to say.

"But it was you." As soon as Mac finished Danny cursed. And as soon as he cursed he apologised for doing so. He stood up from the couch and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"I'm sorry, it's just... damn!" He was really angry, Mac could tell. After Danny let his frustration out he asked about Lindsay.

"Does she know?" He whispered with a husky voice.

"Yeah, she does. I called her a minute ago." Mac answered Danny. Again he wasn't surprised about Danny's worry for her.

"We've also proved that it was an accident Danny. There won't be any trial or something." Mac tried to make it less hurting, but it wasn't really working.

"You think I care about that! I shot Lindsay's brother! I hurt her and her family! I don't give a shit about what's happening to me!" Danny shot back at him.

"Now if you would just hang up. I have to get ready for the funeral." He finished.

He hung up quickly. He sat back on the couch and put his head in his hands. He couldn't believe he shot Michael. He was so mad at himself, for not looking out better. But he was also glad that it was all his fault. He was glad Lindsay didn't have to go through this.

He just sat there for a moment and then he went to his bedroom to change clothes. He wouldn't be any help to Lindsay if he stayed here feeling sorry for her.

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Everybody was at the funeral. Stella, Mac, Hawkes, Flack and all the others from work. It meant a lot to Lindsay. But she hadn't seen Danny yet. For a moment she thought he wasn't coming, but she remembered he had promised her. And he would never break a promise he made to her. Even though he must feel guilty, she thought.

Danny came just a little late. When he came in Stella and Mac and the others were already there. Stella hugged him and said she was sorry for him. Danny just shrugged it off. He didn't want people to feel sorry for _him._

He looked around. He saw Eddie, Jacky and all Lindsay's other family standing at the left side, and Lindsay stood on the other side, alone. It was clear the fight wasn't solved. She wasn't crying, but there were some leftover tears still on her cheeks. She stared into nothing, just like yesterday, at the shooting. She was lost in her thoughts. Danny wanted to go up to her and free her from her thoughts, but he didn't have the guts.

Flack saw Danny debating in is head and said:

"Just go, Danny." Danny looked at him with an 'are you sure' look and Flack nodded.

Danny slowly walked up to Lindsay. Eddie was watching him closely. But Danny didn't really notice. When he reached her she finally saw him. Tears came back into her eyes. His eyes were glassy, too.

He tried to find the right words, but he realized there weren't any.

"I'm sorry Lindsay. I'm just so sorry..." He felt tears in his eyes, threatening to break free. He bit his lip, when he saw her starting to cry once more. This time she wasn't sobbing. The tears just fell slowly.

"I didn't want to... it...it was an accident... I..." Now he couldn't hold back any more, too. A tear rolled out of his eye. Lindsay saw his face was full of well-meant sorry.

"It's okay. I now..." She whispered through her own tears. She looked down at the ground. Ashamed of her tears again. He lifted her head, like he had done that morning. But this time it felt differently. He wiped away her tears with his thumbs.

"I'm just...so...sorry..." He couldn't think of anything else to say. But to her it was just the right thing. He couldn't say anything any more.

This time _she_ took his hand. And he took _her_ hand. She gave him the smallest smile. But he could still see it. And then he pulled her into a hug. This time it wasn't a quick one, as to greet someone. But this was a hug of two people feeling exactly the same. Lindsay burrowed her head into his chest and let her tears stream. Danny held on to her, as though he would fall if he let go.

The team was watching them. Stella felt relieved. Relieved that Lindsay wasn't mad at him. She and Flack gave each other a knowing look and smiled satisfied.

Lindsay lifted her head a little bit and looked at her family. Matt, Renee, Noa, Jacky, they all smiled softly at her. They had forgiven her. She didn't know how to thank Danny for that. She looked at Eddie. To her dismay he looked away from her. But she couldn't really care.

She was in Danny's arms, and that was all that mattered right now.

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**I couldn't wait to write this chapter. Don't think this is the end of the story. Because it will continue, with new problems for Lindsay and her family. This was just a start. I hope you liked the end of this part, though. I liked writing it anyway. I'm waiting for you're reviews again. Thanks a lot for reading my story. It's an honer really to have other people read it. I never let other people read my stories, because I think they'll think it's stupid. So I'm secretely writing this, and if anyone enters my room I just click the sory away and smile sheepishly. **

**Well, that was just a little look in my thoughts and life. I'll stop yapping now. Still got to do my homework ;)**

**Lily**


	6. Chapter 6

It's a month after Michael's funeral, Sunday. The emotions have cooled down a little. Matt, Renee, Noa and Jacky decided to stay in New York, because Christmas was on it's way. Eddie refused to stay first, but he gave in eventually. Lindsay was finally starting to feel better. The first week she couldn't really smile about anything. But now she felt happy again. Even though she missed Michael a lot, she still had her other siblings. And she had Danny. Well, they hadn't been on a date jet. But Danny asked her for Tuesday night. She was really exited to go.

Lindsay was probably the one who took it the best. Her brothers and sisters were definitely more shaken up about Michael. Especially Noa and Jacky.

Jacky called her a lot, just talking made her feel a bit better. She said she was glad that Lindsay was always optimistic. And Lindsay liked helping her.

Noa never called. Not that it was a strange thing for him. Noa never really talked. But Lindsay was starting to worry. He always locked the rest of the world out, when he was feeling hurt. Nobody could really get to him. Except for Lindsay. She has always been closest to Noa. That may be because she liked not to talk sometimes. Unlike Lindsay, Renee liked to talk constantly. She could drive Lindsay crazy sometimes. But now Noa wouldn't even talk to Lindsay. And he usually told her everything

Eddie wasn't calling or anything either. Well, not Lindsay. He wasn't sad about Michael. He was just angry. He really looked a lot like her father. And that scared her. Eddie could be mad at nothing, just like their father. She never got along with Eddie. When she was little, he always worked. He was never there. That may be the reason she wasn't close to him.

Jacky and Michael were more like a mother and a father to her. Since Eddie wasn't there, they just took over. Jacky was really sweet and caring. Michael was really good at solving problems and keeping the peace in the house. Well, at least he was trying to.

Noa usually sat in his room. He liked writing, but especially filming. When he was ten, he got a camera. He always let it roll. He has a lot of tapes. Sometimes, when Lindsay comes over, they watch some of them.

Renee always was the crazy sister. She was always going to parties and messing with boys. Lindsay had to share a room with her. But Renee was five years older, so that didn't really work out. Lindsay ended up sleeping at the attic. She didn't even know they had a attic, until she was hiding for her father one day and found it.

Matt was singer. Lindsay was a good singer, too. He had a guitar, and he was in a band with a couple of friends. Lindsay would help them write songs. And sometimes they let her sing, too...

Lindsay was sitting at her desk, at home. She smiled as the memories of Mattew's band came up in her head. But she was shaken out of them when the doorbell rang...

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**This was just to give a little bit more information on all the siblings. Sometimes it's hard for me to understand, too. Lindsay is going to have a lot more problems as soon as she opens the door. What will Danny's part be, in solving her problems? Will she come closer, or take distance? We already know the answer, just check Love Run Cold. But will they get together after that? We'll see. I'm sorry that it is taking me so long. I kind of have a writers block and school is killing me so...  
But that's not an excuse. I'm really sorry. Please keep on with the reviews. Thanks already.**

**Lily**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, I usually write my notes at the end of the story. But made a little mistake: in the last chapter I said it was Sunday, and Lindsay's date with Danny is on Tuesday. Well, it's Tuesday now, not Sunday, so they are having their date this evening. Well, maybe they're not... just read to find out... **

**Love Lily**

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The doorbell brought Lindsay back to the present. She slowly got up from her chair and went to open up.

"Noa!" She practicty screamed when she saw him. "Come in... Would you like a drink?" She was really exited to see him. She closed the door behind him and pointed at the couch.

"Em... No, thank you. I won't stay long..." He sounded tired. Lindsay immediately knew something was wrong. It just didn't feel right.

"What do you mean?" She asked him. She stepped a little closer to him.

"I'm going away Lindsay." He explained simply. She thought a few moments about what he just said.

"So, you're running away again?" She sounded a little dissapointed.

He nodded. "Yeah, I need some time away from everything... Are you mad at me?" He wanted to know.

"No, of course not! Why would you think that?" She was surprised at him even caring about her feelings. Usually he would have just gone, without even telling her.

"Well, I thought you might feel like I was leaving you... I thought you would be mad at me for not thinking about you..." The truth was that he really hoped she would be mad at him, but he couldn't say that to her.

"Well, you just need to do what you think is right." She said simply. He didn't seem to be satisfied with her answer.

"Yeah, but how will I know if I am actually doing the right thing?" She knew he was getting frunstrated with her. But she didn't understand. She thought she was giving him the answers he wanted to hear.

"Well, if you really belief deep in your heart you need to do something, then it can never be the wrong thing." He sighed in frustration. How could she make it sound so easy?

"Yeah? Then how about those murderers you face every day? They think they really need to kill somebody!" He was almost yelling at her. She was getting scared. For the first time she didn't know what he really wanted to hear. For the first time she couldn't read him. Something was wrong, and for the fist time she couldn't find out what it was.

"Do you really think they really belief, deep in their heart, that their doing the right thing?" She just prayed this was good enough. "If you feel like you need to go, then you need to go..." He looked at the ground, the way he always did when he had tears in his eyes, she knew.

And suddenly she knew what this was all about. "I'll see you again, right?" She asked with a small voice, hoping he gave her the answer **she** wanted to hear. "Where are you going anyway Noa?" She was getting curious.

"I don't know...Nobody know's actually... But I promise you, we'll meet again..." Tears were running down his cheeks. She suddenly got the idea he wasn't just telling her he was leaving. 'We'll meet again...' wasn't that what people said about heaven? 'We'll meet again in heaven'...O god!

She finally got it! Noa wasn't just going to leave this time! He would never come back! She felt tears stinging in her own eyes, too.

"Are you really not mad at me?" He asked crying. She couldn't look at him.

She shook her head. "I...I can't stop you Noa..." She could barely speak through her tears.

"I can't stay here...Lindsay... It's just too much for me... I really...I really need to go..." He said through his sobs. "The whole thing with Michael... I'm just not...I'm not strong enough Lindsay... I can't hold on... I can't stay here anymore..." She didn't want him to go, but when she saw him like that, she really couldn't talk him out of this. She just wanted him to be happy. She didn't want him to feel this pain anymore.

He saw she was trying to say something, but all that came out of her mouth were her sobs.

"You are the only one I'm telling this to, Lindsay... It's you and me... Our little secret, you understand?" He looked at her thouroughly.

She nodded. He knew she would never break such a promise. Expacially not this one. When they were like ten, they had promised each other to make each other's last wish come true. Lindsay wasn't going to break that promise.

"I really should go now..." He said softly, pointing into the direction of the door.

She wanted to stop him so bad. There were so many things she wanted to tell him. But she just froze up. She couldn't say anything, she couldn't move. All she could do was cry.

"I love you Lindsay..." He said to her.

"I... love... y-you...t-..." She couldn't even finish her sentence. She wanted to hug him, kiss him goodbye. But she knew it would only make things worse. And bisides, she couldn't even say four words, let alone hugging and kissing, or moving at all.

He didn't dare to hug or kiss her either, afraid that he would make up his mind, so he just turned around. He opened the door and stepped outside. Before closing the door he looked one last time at his sister, who was still not moving. Then he closed the door, and quickly walked to his car, before any thought could float into his mind.

Lindsay fell on the ground and cried for a long time... she completely forgot about her date with Danny that evening...

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**Well, I thought I'd just go on with this story. I still like it pretty much. It's just that I have practicly written the whole story in my mind already, I just have to write it down, and that's quite boring. But I'm just dying to know what you think of this... Next chapter will have some spoilers for Love Run Cold... I'm really looking forward to your reviews!**

**Love Lily**


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